trying to do less, but better
This week felt like something inside me finally relaxed. I've been slowly stripping my life back to the things that genuinely matter. It started with realising I didn't need three devices and five different systems for notes and capture. I needed one strong base where I can think, create, meditate, write, and make music. So I sold one iMac, returned a laptop, and committed to the iMac Pro as my main space for everything. Once I made that decision, a surprising amount of mental noise disappeared.
This urge to simplify is connected to something deeper. I've been thinking about death every day. Not in a dark way. More in a way that brings everything into sharper focus. The more I look at impermanence, the more obvious it becomes that most of what I worry about does not matter. Life is short. Time moves quickly. I want to spend the years I have left doing things that feel real. Meditation, music, travel, teaching, and learning how to live with clarity.
The teachings I've been reading, especially from the Tibetan tradition, are starting to land in a much more direct way. They are not ideas anymore. They are experiences. When I reflect on death, gratitude appears on its own. When I think about the people I care about, I feel softer toward them. When a difficult moment comes up at work, I'm less reactive. I see the students not just as misbehaving teenagers but as young people trying to navigate their own pain. I can feel a shift happening in how I relate to them. There is more patience and more understanding.
My creative life is changing too. Music does not feel like an extra activity anymore. It feels like the centre of my expression. The place where meditation and creativity meet. Writing still matters, but it works best when I use it to clear my mind, not when I try to turn it into another massive project. I can feel myself moving toward a routine that suits me better. Morning meditation. A little reading. Some writing to open the day. Then music. That feels right for the long term.
I have also been thinking a lot about the future. Travel is still calling me, especially Asia. When I picture myself living there one day, something in me settles. It feels peaceful and spacious. I know I need a strong body and good routines if I want that to become real. So I have been improving my mobility again and getting back into some cardio. Not for aesthetics. Just to be capable and healthy enough to live the life I want.
Another thing that has shifted is the pressure around big life choices. Children, relationships, legacy. All of that used to feel heavy. Recently it has felt lighter. I am beginning to see my life as part of something much broader. My identity does not need to be built around expectations that do not fit my temperament. I can choose a path that matches who I am rather than who I thought I needed to be.
The biggest change this week is the feeling of clarity. Not a rigid clarity. More like space. When I stop trying to do everything, the things that truly matter come forward on their own. Meditation. Music. Service. Health. A quieter mind. A simpler setup. A life that feels aligned instead of scattered.
For now, that is enough. I only need to keep simplifying and keep listening. The next step reveals itself whenever I stop forcing it and let the truth rise on its own.